purposeful minimizing {my journey}

I never thought I was strong enough to become a minimalist. I've heard of this way of life, but never looked into it or thought much about it. I just thought I needed my stuff and was too lost without it. 

The world makes us think that. We live in a society where we think bigger, better, glitzy, big price tag is the best way of life. Shopping is therapy, I believed. My kids need this toy and that outfit. My house needs this and that so I can feel accepted and have people over to entertain. That was the old me. I've been doing some serious doing away with things in my house, my life, and my crazy perspective. I prayed so hard for God to take away the love of money from my heart. And show me what really matters. So here is my little slice of the journey. 

I changed my thoughts. After a weight on my heart for better financial living and a heart change, God gave me just that. It wasn't pretty. I had to dig deep and really see what I was spending on, bringing into our house, the use for those things and what I needed to change about myself, which is a hard raw process. 

I stopped spending blindly. Which was HARD HARD HARD. I realized the main reason I was spending was because my husband was working away and I was just sad. I realized my spending came from my feelings. 

My kids and I don't need a bunch of stuff. The latest toys, clothes, technology? We can't afford it, so I am learning not to covet it when I see it in stores or online. We cut down all their toys and I let them keep a small tub full, not a room full. It gave my kids freedom to explore their imaginations and come up with games, play all on their own. 

It gives freedom. I thought it I gave a lot of the things in my house away, I would feel empty. But I don't. I feel so incredibly better, happier and relieved. 

Somebody once told me- if your house is always cluttered even if you try to organize and clean- you've got too much stuff and it's true. I was always trying my hardest to clean clean clean, but I was running in circles over a massive elephant in the room- STUFF. 

Now, I give all the stuff I can away. I give to family and friends, and donate it away to help others. I just don't keep it if it doesn't have a purpose in our home. 

More to come soon on this topic.

Sweet friends, thank you for listening to me. Have anything to add? I'm all ears. 

Love,

What works for me {life as a wife of a traveling husband}

My husband is actually home right now, so I am able to steal a few moments to write this.

I have such heart for women who go through this heart ache of not having their husband everyday, that I wanted to share some of the things that's worked for me, which hasn't come easy. There have been so many stressful days, tearful nights- but finally I feel I have come through a little bit better and wiser to share. 

- I am at Gods feet daily. On the toughest days where I want to scream with housework, laundry, errands, kids- knowing I have to do it all myself- can be so tough on my mind. And knowing there is no break. This has been the on the heavy days- where I've broken and knew I needed Jesus daily- in the darkest hour. I fail so much, I just have gotten into a routine of asking for grace and forgiveness sometimes hourly. I pray in Walmart, in the car, doing the dishes. I ask for help + grace so much. Instead of getting on my phone checking social media- I open my phone to you version bible app. It's convienent for me because late at night when I'm holding a baby and can't turn on a light to open a bible- I have the one on my phone. It's a must have for me. 

-I stop listening to people's opinions. Especially the ones who have no idea what I go through. I only listen to encouragement. 

- I have accepted help. Which is so very difficult for me to even muster up. But if people love you- they will just help- no questions asked. My daddy comes here on the weekends and brings lunch and does my dishes. My neighbors mow my yard. People invite us to dinner or bring dinner over. Thank you Jesus for all the beautiful souls who have reached out to my girls and I through the rough days. I am beyond grateful. God puts people in our lives to bless. Every small or big act of kindness is so amazing to me. 

-I get sleep. When the kids are down for a nap- I am right there too. I don't mess with no energy. I have to have every bit of it to do the hard work everyday. I sleep every single second they do. 

- I lessened all the things in my life weighting me down, and I've learned to say no. Social media can suck a person in. It's one of the tricks of the enemy. To get us distracted, to take us away from the intentional. I've learned to take myself away, put the phone down, be deliberate with my family and my time. I also don't say yes to every little thing. I use that word carefully.

- I try and make the most of my fringe hours- which goes hand in hand with being intentional and getting away from social media. I intentionally try my hardest to grab a book, cup of coffee and have a moment to myself which is VITALLY important. Or I turn on an episode of FRIENDS. That time is sacred. 

- I strive to be content. Everybody has a different way of how their family works. And right now, this is how our family works. I try my hardest not to compare, covet what I see others doing or having. Because it steals our joy, makes us depressed, and weary. On the hardest day, I praise Him. It's not easy. It's not something that's natural, but as I do it, I see the blessings and His love so much more clearly. 

I hope this helps. I'm not 100% great at all these, but I am a work in progress. My husband works very hard, and these are ways I have taught my mind and my body to adjust to this season of life. God is the real reason though. He has carried me and continues to. He gives grace-which I need so much of. 

Love,

Life as a Wife with a Traveling for work Husband

My husband has always been an extremely hard worker. When we first started out as a young married couple with dreams and a little apartment, he worked nights at Wendy's- for 3 years. Then as our family got bigger- he got a job at a local factory working the over night shift, weekends, holidays. He worked 12 hour shifts. He's never complained. He always still helped me so much. He made sure we had everything we needed. 

We still lie awake at night sharing our dreams with each other- if in person or over the phone. With every struggle, with times we didn't know if we would make it, we still prayed hard and dreamed hard. We strived to be content in that small apartment. No matter what other people seemed to have or get.

My husband came home from work one day and told me they had cut everyone's hours at work. We were both so scared. So we prayed and God laid something on our heart- truck driving. It seemed to be a way out of the fear we had. Just for a little while- we promised each other.

It's amazing how God works out everything for our good! It's been almost 2 years since he took this job. And I have found out just how badly I needed Jesus. How strong our marriage became because of sacrifice. Nights I couldn't of made it without His Word, His peace. 

I've been asked things the last couple years about why does my husband truck drive and it's simple- God led him to do it and we know God sees the bigger picture before us. He directs our steps and I am giving Him our family. I trust, without abandon that Jesus will do something huge. Every family situation is different and what works for us may not work for someone else. 

But I've had some of the hugest blessings in my life come out of the hard ships of my husband being gone for work. I've met an amazing community of like wives going through the same thing. I've got stronger, wiser, better. Raising my kids alone for 3 weeks at a time has been extremely rough at times- but God has carried me. 

I want to continue this in another post, so if your husband works away, please share your heart in the comments. Or if you've experienced it in the past. I've realize how precious it is for women to share together so we can be there for one another. 

I'm going to be sharing some ideas of what has helped me. 

Much love. 

How to Pop them tags

                             

                                    

I used to be a slave to spending so much money on kids clothes. 1. I thought being a new mom I had to 'keep up with the world' and 2. I wanted to fit in... Oh and 3. I didn't want anybody to think I couldn't afford the matching outfit with the matching bow and shoes and carseat.

Flash forward 6 years, and I have given up on those things. Why? Because I got real with myself and our budget. I stopped trying to fit in with the other moms. I stopped having anxiety about matching and if we could afford the next outfit. Addictions are real, and they can sneak in alongside our insecurities. 

So one day I went into Goodwill, and came out a completely different person with a crazy new perspective. I was throwing a lot of money away and creating havoc for our finances. I didn't even realize. How a shirt at Walmart can be $10 and you can nearly find the same thing at Goodwill for a dollar. Serious. Today I want to let you in on my secrets I stopped by brand new things. You wouldn't believe the nicest brand name clothes people just donate or put in a yard sale! 

Here are my best kept secrets and some mis conceptions about second hand buying. 

~ misconception one- used is stained, ugly and wore out. Reality- some of it is. I agree. But you can't just look through one or two items and give up. Look through the whole rack. 

~misconception two- my children will get laughed at if they see them wearing used clothes. Reality- nobody even knows you got it used. For all they know it's been in your closet.

~misconception three- people will judge me if they even knew I walked into a Goodwill or a yard sale. Reality- you are being a smart mama with your finances. And if they judge- that's on them and not you! 

~misconception four- my favorite of all of them- all of Goodwill clothes are from the 1980's and out of date. Reality- NOPE! $30 dress from Justice looking like new for $2? Old navy jeans $25 dollars marked to $1.50? Like new Christmas dress $3?? You get my drift. 

My best kept secrets? No shame. If you want to keep your family finances in tact and you don't want to become a slave to buying outrageous priced things- enjoy hand me down. It's all my girls wear and we get compliments like crazy! I get asked all the time where I buy their clothes- and I can't help but feel proud I put away the need to compete. Don't feel bad or sad about it. Oh the possibilities of second hand. And I want to teach my daughters it's not about fitting in, keeping up with the latest brand new items. It's about managing our home, our family and our life. I will post more on my Instagram of the deals I get so you can be inspired also. And if you do shop second hand, please share your tips and tricks.

Love, 

leaving a season + beginning one

Hello beautiful friends- from an early morning here in Tennessee.

I stopped blogging a long time ago. I quit cold turkey- because I didn't realize until now that I was dealing with some of the hardest years of my life through that blog. I got weakened by trying to measure up and keep up. Ultimately I had to shut down. My blog and my heart. I had to really go into a hiding to hear God say what was next.

I will go into that further down the road. Here you can find hospitality and acceptance. My page is just my heart- its no competing for followers, traffic or the best graphics. I'm not going to give you advice and act like I have it all together. I fail so many times daily. I've lived a hard past. I am scarred and broken and needing Jesus. 

What I am going to share is the things I have listed in the tabs above under my header. Real things, hard things, messy things, raw things.

I don't want to put out perfect blog posts with perfect pictures. Here I will show you exactly what real life in my home looks like and feels like. 

I'm going to keep things simple. There won't be a bunch of hoopla here. Just me.

If you know me from personal life or instagram (which is my favorite) or Facebook (which is my least favorite- but we will get to that soon) - welcome back. If you are new, can't wait to hear your story and share with you.

Sometimes, even so bittersweet, we must leave the season we are in for something new. God is so good like that.

welcome, sweet friends

To southern grace + coffee. 

Much love,